Soft Focus on Shallow Depth

rhododendron blooms
Rhododendron blooms. Darkroom print. Silberra 25 film.

Sometimes it feels as if I have a fighting spirit, with no justified cause. What justified cause there may be now, involves staying home. And gardening. Wasting less. Producing, consuming, and investing with conscience. Nurturing.

Problem being that I was not raised to nurture. Schooling and competitive culture both channeled into a loop of run, hunt, and exploit.

Nurturing seems right, especially now, but feels unsettling. How do I fight by doing less or nothing, and if active, no harm? On a superficial plane, I get it. But I don’t know how to be this way.

This is why I take one day each week, as a Secular Sabbath Day. I read theology, philosophy, sacred texts. Myths, and natural origins. I’m trying to learn how to be nurturing and adaptive.

Rationalism doesn’t quite fit. This could be ineffable. So, faith? I don’t know. My ignorance is a ghost, that I had better learn to accept and be friendly with.

Sifting Through the Drift

street photography portrait portland oregon
Portland, OR. March, 2016.

Thousands of images saved, going back years. Rather than go on another camera spree, it’s time to look back with fresh eyes and give “old” images a renewal.

Prints, eBooks, giving a photo its due here, or nothing at all. I’m going to spend my near term viewing and thinking on what I’ve done, before doing a lot more.

Shadow Bocce

blue bocce balls and shadows on sand court

Coherence ⇠⇢ Correlation ⇠⇢Randomness↩︎ is natural, we’re told by complexity scientists. I’m not qualified to bring any rigor to this theory. But from my laypersons viewpoint, it passes the intuition test.

We live in a reductionist world that seems bent towards fitting all into a coherence. If complexity students are correct, this is unnatural. No wonder we find ourselves trapped by arguments over correlations, within random dynamics.

Still imagery focuses on interstitial currents, weaving through complex systems. Random moments, for example, which is what makes street photography purposeful to me.

Or, take this random still life of sorts. Does it mix into a coherence? Is there a correlation between the bounce on a sand pebble court, and then how it spins when approaching another ball?

Coherence is the ball. Everything else in this game is a wild mix of tactics, technique, and how it correlates with chance. Anyone who has played sports, knows this.

Yet see the spaces in-between, and how the shadows fall. Interstitial binds the random⇠⇢correlative⇠⇢coherent↩︎ natural elements into a discerned pattern. This is a picture worth stopping time for, whatever others may deem it worth.

Look closer and it’s more complex, not less. There are infinite possibilities. The game itself is an absurdity, albeit a fun one with a bottle of wine, that teases your delusions of knowing all.